When an important character is introduced in a screenplay, it is an opportunity for the writer to give us the essence of who this person is and what they are like. However, most good screenplays are ruthlessly efficient when it comes to detail and description. We only have a limited number of pages to cram everything in, so long-winded paragraphs are to be avoided at all costs. The key is to keep it concise but original. Here are a few tips to tighten up those all important character descriptions.
Break the rules
Generally speaking, telling the reader anything in a screenplay that they cannot ascertain visually on screen is a big no-no. For example;
A figure sits at the bar. This is WILLIAM GERRITSON, 38. He's built like a boxer. William used to work as a security guard at the local bank until he got fired last month for assault.
How do we know he used to work as a security guard? How do we know he got fired last month? We may find this information out in the following scene through action and dialogue but lines like this are too specific. You cannot convey this information just through someone's physical appearance and demeanour.
However when introducing our main characters we are allowed to bend the rules a little bit. Check out the first time we meet the central protagonist from The Hills Haves Eyes remake.
Inside the trailer home, DOUG BUKOWSKI, 32, Lynne's husband, tries to fix the broken A/C.
His glasses and white Oxford shirt drenched in sweat, Doug is totally out of his element. This is a guy who has never been out of the city.
How do we know this just by looking at him? We don't. But we can probably guess by the way he looks, how he is dressed and the way the actor carries himself in the scene. It is a general statement on the type of person this is. And it is delivered neatly in one short sentence.
We are also given a bit of licence to detail one or two character traits. Personally I think that any decent screenwriter should be showing this information through action and dialogue but the thought behind this technique is that it helps the reader instantly establish a basic overview of who the character is. Check out the examples below from Scream...
A young girl of 17, sits, her face glued to the computer monitor in front of her. CLOSE ON her face. Sharp and clever with deep, lonely eyes.
...and Shutter Island.
This is CHUCK AULE.
Chuck is good-natured, quick with a smile or a joke; but beneath that easy going confidence there's a quick, sharp intelligence that doesn't miss a thing.
Chuck is good-natured, quick with a smile or a joke; but beneath that easy going confidence there's a quick, sharp intelligence that doesn't miss a thing.
We arent told his/her life stories but we are given a summary of their key character traits.
Give us an age but not a personal ad
Character descriptions should rarely give us a detailed physical description of the character unless it is vital to the plot. If we are describing Darth Vader then it may a good idea to give more of a detailed idea of what he looks like but we do not need to know if a character has blue eyes or black hair. The best descriptions give us the basics. They tell us their general appearance but they do not give us specifics. However it is important to give the reader an idea of the age of the character, whether it be an exact number or a rough idea.
Character descriptions should rarely give us a detailed physical description of the character unless it is vital to the plot. If we are describing Darth Vader then it may a good idea to give more of a detailed idea of what he looks like but we do not need to know if a character has blue eyes or black hair. The best descriptions give us the basics. They tell us their general appearance but they do not give us specifics. However it is important to give the reader an idea of the age of the character, whether it be an exact number or a rough idea.
Look at the example below from The Ring
And now the door bangs open to reveal RACHEL KELLER, 27, a knockout in a dark suit. She drops her cellphone into her purse and smiles serenely at the boy.
We know her age and that she is good looking, smartly dressed and has a nice smile. That's enough. Who cares if she is blonde or 5ft 6inches tall? The reader will create their own image of what she looks like and it will be more satisfying than anything you could come up with in two lines of description.
Be creative
It's a good idea to try and make your description as punchy and as original as possible. Try and look for a different way of getting the basic information across. Most lead characters are attractive or pretty or handsome. But describing a character in the following way just feels flat and tired.
This is LUCY BAKER, 23. She is attractive and slim.
Yawn. She may be attractive and slim, there is nothing wrong with that, but try and say it in a more interesting way. It makes an introduction so much more memorable.
Check out the following introductions from Scream...
A young, strapping boy of seventeen. Handsome and alluring. A star quarterback/ class president type of guy. He sports a smile that could last for days.
And from Fright Night
This is JERRY, 30's. Handsome to the point of devastating. An all American Adonis
Both of these are essentially describing good looking characters. But they give us more than that. A "star quarterback/class president" gives us an idea of what type of good looking this guy is. As does an "all American Adonis". They are nice visual lines and they give us a picture of what these people look like without giving us a detailed description. Give a snappy one-liner and let the reader do the hard work for you.
It's a good idea to try and make your description as punchy and as original as possible. Try and look for a different way of getting the basic information across. Most lead characters are attractive or pretty or handsome. But describing a character in the following way just feels flat and tired.
This is LUCY BAKER, 23. She is attractive and slim.
Yawn. She may be attractive and slim, there is nothing wrong with that, but try and say it in a more interesting way. It makes an introduction so much more memorable.
Check out the following introductions from Scream...
A young, strapping boy of seventeen. Handsome and alluring. A star quarterback/ class president type of guy. He sports a smile that could last for days.
And from Fright Night
This is JERRY, 30's. Handsome to the point of devastating. An all American Adonis
Both of these are essentially describing good looking characters. But they give us more than that. A "star quarterback/class president" gives us an idea of what type of good looking this guy is. As does an "all American Adonis". They are nice visual lines and they give us a picture of what these people look like without giving us a detailed description. Give a snappy one-liner and let the reader do the hard work for you.
RB
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