BAIT 3D

Bait (18) 

Director: Kimble Rendall

Screenplay: Shayne Armstrong, Duncan Kennedy

​Starring: Xavier Samuel, Julian Mcmahon

A tsunami just flipped the food chain

There have been a few recent shark-based horror movies either based around or shot in Australia. “The Reef” (2010) and “Open Water” (2003) are the ones that come immediately to mind. Add to this the constant public fascination that the public has with sharks ever since the classic “Jaws” (1975), and the fun-but-dumb thrills of “Deep Blue Sea” (1999). The “Piranha” movies played their part as well in promoting gory undersea horror, especially “Piranha 3D” (2010). Also observe the constant obsession that the “SyFy channel”/”The Asylum” film studios has with films like “Super Shark” (2011) and “Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus” (2009) {NB: For casual readers, I am NOT making these movies up, Google ‘em}, and also natural disaster movies. Stir all these factors together, and you should get something along the lines of “Bait”. Originally titled “Bait 3D”, this Australian/Singapore production was made to bring more shark-horror to the screens, and ride on the crest of the 3D (tidal) wave. Now released on UK DVD, YGROY flicks a fishing line into its murky depths.

The film opens with a ”Cliffhanger” (the Stallone movie) type opening, where a hung-over life guard Josh (Xavier Samuel) sees his friend and colleague being eaten by a shark in front of him. After a Darth Vader “Noooooo!!” cry to the heavens, the story jumps twelve months forward. Still based in the same Australian coastal city, his life is now a mess, as his fiancé Jaime (the sister of the aforementioned shark victim) left him, and he now works in a supermarket stacking shelves. On this particular day, a mass of clichéd characters are amassing in and around the supermarket. There’s the desperate-but-has-a-heart-of-gold robber, and his psycho masked mate. The chavvy shoplifter and her exasperated cop father. The spoilt rich couple complete with annoying yappy dog. And to top it off, after a year Jaime (Phoebe Tonkin) has returned to the town (Yay!) and brought her new boyfriend with her (Boo! Bitch!).  But then wouldn’t you know it … A massive earthquake hits the city and a subsequent tsunami deluges the supermarket, killing many and submerging much of the store…

Now I’ll just interject here and interrupt this thrilling synopsis. I’m not a geologist, but this is a preposterous sequence in the extreme. From the first rumble, to the impact of the tidal wave, it all happens in less than a minute!! Even I know that’s impossible and is worthy of a double face-palm… We now return you to the synopsis.

The surviving cast now find themselves stranded in (inexplicably water-tight) cars and on supermarket shelves, as they stay clear of the water. They have to stay above the water, as the wave has brought in two Great White sharks that are now circling the beleaguered characters. Imagine the drowned-kitchen sequence in “Deep Blue Sea”, or the supermarket-sequence in “Tremors”, drawn out over the bulk of a movie, and you’ll get the idea. As they try to find a way out, they also have to fend off the sharks, and use their ingenuity to survive. Who gets out … and how much of them will be left?

From the very beginning there is a pungent aroma of cheese about this film. As mentioned, the characters are all walking clichés, and wouldn’t be out of place in a US disaster movie set in the 1970’s. The constant references to the other movies that I’ve made, also highlights the lack of originality in the film. The pre-occupation with 3D effects (which you won’t experience unless you have a fancy-ass TV and the Blu-Ray version) is a tad juvenile as well, with seagulls and body parts being literally poked in your face.

There is a huge amount of fun to be had with the dialogue, if you’re so inclined. You can play “Disaster-Film Bingo” or have a shot of booze, every-time one of the characters says a well-worn cheesy phrase that you’ve heard thousands of times in disaster movies. In fact, during the space of one minute two characters have this exchange; “When’s it going to end?”, “Why is this happening?”, “We’re not going to make it out of here, are we?” HOUSE! *hic*

And if I had a quid for every time somebody says “Get outta the water!!”…
The CGI special effects range from “Deep Blue Sea” level with fairly effective shark menacing, to PlayStation cut-scene quality (particularly during the lousily realised tsunami and first shark-attack). A lot of the gore actually comes from the body parts littering the supermarket. The shark attacks are along the lines of the actor-dunking-his-head-and-coming-up-screaming, or messy-red-CGI-blobs around the shark’s chops. I will say though, that there is a genuinely good and gory visual gag that occurs as a character tries to escape via the air conditioning.
Other “joys” which you can experience consist of; logic gaps (how can 12ft sharks get into an area that the victims are “trapped” in?), inappropriate sweeping music during romantic confessions, a leading cast member turning suddenly into Bruce Willis (figuratively speaking), a mobile shark-cage (!?), a bullet-time tazer shot, a “mystery” around the identity of one of the robbers (which is only a mystery if you’re deaf), and a truly horrendous cover version of “Mack The Knife” over the end credits. To be honest, I would have marked it lower than a 2 star rating, but I did find myself grinning several times, if only for the sheer unashamed verve and cheesiness of it all, and it does drift into the so-bad-it’s-good territory sometimes…

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Surprisingly, the screenplay is co-written by the once-great Russell Mulcahy (“Highlander”). Even more surprisingly, the film was actually a modest hit in China and Italy. As a result it looks like a sequel is on the way, and will supposedly be set in Los Angeles!  China and Italy? You’ve only got yourselves to blame …
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DVD Extras:
Substantial 43 minute making of documentary.
Trailer

There is some cheesy fun to be had, but it’s pretty much negated by all the bad points. Awful dialogue, loads of lazy clichés, varying quality on the special effects, and some pretty big logic gaps “sink” the movie (Do you see what I did there?). You may well enjoy it to a certain extent, but you’ll hate yourself afterwards…