5 BEST HORROR REMAKES

By Dave Stephens

Remakes! They’re all crap aren’t they? Actually … they’re not. I’m as bad as every other genre fan with my knee-jerk reactions, and I inwardly groaned when I heard about the remakes of “Carrie” and “Evil Dead”. And yet those two films are now probably the most eagerly awaited horror films of 2013. Yes, there are extremely ill-advised and badly made remakes (as the site will also cover), but there are remakes that not only complement their predecessors, but can sometimes blow them out of the water. I submit 5 examples and hope you agree with at least some of them.                                                               


​The Fly (David Cronenberg;1986)


A remake of “The Fly” from 1958

Considered by many (myself included) as being Cronenberg’s very best film, this was the culmination of his fascination with “body horror”. It is loosely based on the Vincent Price film from 1958 (itself based on a short sci-fi story). The original film was a traditional campy 50’s horror, depicting a man with a fly’s noggin and claw, and the unforgettable sight of a tiny fly with a man’s head (The plaintive squeal of “Help Me…Help Me” before he is chomped by a spider, has forever been engraved in horror lore, as chucklesome as it might appear today). However, Cronenberg’s film was part love story, part fear-of-the-unknown, and part monster flick.  As Jeff Goldblum’s scientist invents teleportation, and his genes are unwittingly spliced with that of a fly, Cronenberg doesn’t go for an immediate transformation. Instead his hero (anti-hero?) starts to disintegrate both physically and mentally, until he turns into a new monstrous life-form. The main horror does not come from this climatic mutation, rather the gradual descent of the Goldblum character into a hopeless situation where he is all too aware of his approaching “death”, but is unable to do anything about it. The Geena Davis character (his lover and a reporter) acts as the conscience of the audience, as she experiences his downfall, and comes to realise that the baby she is carrying, may be a mutated offspring. The fact that Goldblum and Davis were a couple at the time of filming, adds extra emotion to some of the scenes. Some critics have cited that Cronenberg was filming a fable regarding the fears around an AIDS epidemic, but opinions are divided. Inspired moments like Goldblum explaining “insect politics”, the collection of body-parts in the medicine cabinet, and the shock emergence of “Brundle-Fly”, all contribute to a fine horror epic. The idea of the original film was eloquently updated and given a twist of its own, which had something new to say with its material, and that is the mark of a good remake.




The Thing (John Carpenter;1982)

A remake of “The Thing from Another World” from 1951

This is another remake of a 1950’s monster film. The original (Howard Hawks) film depicted the same basic story, with a frozen UFO at the North Pole containing an alien life form, which then thaws out and starts killing locally based scientists and military personnel. In that case, it was a hulking plant-based nasty (one character calls it an “intellectual carrot”!) and the threat is purely physical. In Carpenter’s film, the threat was more insidious and could cause the extinction of the human race. The 1982 was more in tune with the Sci-Fi story that inspired the original version (“Who goes there?”). Once the Carpenter “Thing” has thawed, it reveals its talent for “absorbing” the DNA of its victims and mimicking their appearances. This means it can hide amongst the Antarctic based crew as a dog, or as one of their colleagues. It also means that it can showcase the truly awesome special effects of Rob Bottin and Stan Winston. This really is THE classic horror film of the 80’s, remake or not! Criminally underrated during its initial release, it barely made its money back (Audiences at the time were still coo-ing over ET, and ignored it). It is only with time that it has come to be recognised as the classic that it is. The long-running appreciation of the film led to the recent (rather disappointing) prequel in 2011 which was also called “The Thing”. Far too many highlights to list, but special mention must go to the “Spider-Head”, the suspense-filled blood-test, and the “Dog-Thing”, all fantastic moments of horror (THIS is how you do Horror, CGI experts!!). It is also an unapologetic testosterone-filled movie (the only female voice is the chess-computer, played by Carpenter’s then-missus Adrienne Barbeau). Kurt Russell has never been better in his role as Alpha-Male Macready (except maybe as Snake Plissken). This is another fine example of how to take an “old” story, and make it your own.

Dawn of the Dead (Zack Snyder; 2004)


A remake of “Dawn of the Dead” from 1978

The cards were certainly stacked against this one!! Even now I’m sure some people will cry “sacrilege!” and burn bearded effigies of me, for suggesting this is a good remake. But I stick by my opinion and I know a lot of people feel the same way. There was an absolute storm of protest when this remake was first announced. For your average horror fan, this was akin to somebody filming a CGI remake of Spielberg’s “Jaws”! At the time, Zack Snyder had not yet directed a film and here he was helming a remake of the quintessential zombie movie. Famously the original classic by George Romero depicted a small band of survivors hide out in a shopping mall during a Zombie apocalypse. It was a sly satire on commercialism, as well as an epic flesh-eating movie. Incredibly, Snyder DID pull it off. What’s impressive about this being a remake is that it is very much its own movie and a product of the times. It complements the original, without sullying its message or impact. It’s not necessarily better than the original (and it isn’t really), but it is a damn good, intelligent horror movie in its own right. With one of the best openings EVER to a contemporary genre film (it tracks Sarah Polley’s journey from ending her shift as a nurse, to losing her partner to zombification, to crashing her car near the mall … all before the opening credits!), it is a thrilling ride with an epic soundtrack. Johnny Cash has never been put to better use in a film! Highlights include; how NOT to hold a chainsaw, running zombies done the RIGHT way, the battle-bus getaway, the little girl attacking at the beginning, and Jake Weber’s heart-wrenching final goodbye. The Zombie baby is probably a step too far, and the ending just peters out, but (for me at least) it is an example of a remake that honours its original and entertains in its own right. It was a massive hit, made Snyder’s career, and (let’s be honest) started a new zombie trend. We may not have had “The Walking Dead” on our screens if not for this…


Maniac (Franck Khalfoun; 2012) 

A remake of “Maniac” from 1980

This is definitive example of how a remake can spin-off the original premise, and became a far better film. The original “Maniac” is a somewhat grim and depressing flick which became a cult film, due to its splatty effects (courtesy of Tom Savini) and a ripe performance from the late Joe Spinelli. The 2012 version gives the lead character the same name (Frank Zito) and homicidal tendencies towards women. In an absolute masterful stroke though, the entire story is filmed (almost) completely through the point-of-view of the titular character. Even more impressive, Frank is now played by Elijah Woods and the film only uses his image at key moments. Frodo Baggins as a slasher … what would Gandalf say? Puerile joking aside, the addition of Woods is a brave and ultimately successful move. His constant narration and almost sympathetic characterisation of a schizophrenic psychotic, prevents the film from degenerating into a misogynistic gore-fest. You can understand his thought process in his murderous quests, while certainly not empathising with it. The film itself doesn’t skimp on the red-stuff, and is a genuinely tension filled as we accompany Frank stalking his victims, and committing atrocities. In one bravura sequence, Franks completes a messy scalping and turns to view his reflection in a car door … which accurately recreates the cinema poster from the original film. Now that’s how you do homage in a remake! Unfortunately, the film has so far only been shown at film festivals (to usually very positive reviews) and has (shamefully) not been picked up for an official release. Unlikely to get a huge release, it will probably slip out on DVD at a later stage … although I hope I’m wrong on both counts. Hopefully, this will be recognised as a cult classic in later years, like its filmic ancestor.

The Blob (Chuck Russell;1988)

A remake of “The Blob” from 1958

A sheer, unadulterated “guilty pleasure” of mine (although I’m not sure why I should feel guilty about it), this is a largely forgotten treasure from the 80’s.  Yet again, it is another example of a superior remake, to a 1950’s monster film. This time it takes its cue from the 1958 hokey classic. In that film, famous for introducing Steve McQueen to the world, the titular creature was a jelly-like alien who consumed the occupants of a small town, until the groovy kids saved the day! The 1988 version was directed by Chuck Russell (“Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors”) and an early screenplay by the great Frank Darabont. There are so many reasons why I love this film! It’s packed with future and past genre stars; Shawnee Smith (the “Saw” franchise), Kevin Dillon (“Entourage”), Candy Clark (“The Man who fell to Earth”), and Jeffrey De Munn (Dale from “The Walking Dead”). It takes no prisoners; the “leading” man is killed off in the first 30 minutes, and a young boy is mercilessly melted in the sewers. The “Blob” itself turns out to have an earthly origin in a nice about-turn from the original film. The effects aren’t great by modern standards, but they are still effective enough. Snappy dialogue and tricksy plot-twists, it’s hugely enjoyable and almost a “feel-good” movie … if it wasn’t for the fact that a large part of the cast gets squelched! Unfairly treated by critics at time, it also has a ludicrously low rating on “Rotten Tomatoes” (another reason to distrust the site…). Ripe for cult status, it is easily a better-than-the-original remake.